there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
