well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
well you can't waste a boner
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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