Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
