would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
