The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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