Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
