Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
