wrigley field is MILF paradise
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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