The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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