I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
