i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize