you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's shark week go big or go home
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
