Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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