You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
