He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
