apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
