Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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