if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize