I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I've blown a few things in my day
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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