capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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