i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize