me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
