i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
