Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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