i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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