K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
