he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
