And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
