I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
