I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
