Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
