I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
no you cant smoke seaweed
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
