you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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