Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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