I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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