you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
