"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
