The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
