Sry I called you an 8
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
