there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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