also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
