watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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