he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
