White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
