the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
