Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
