You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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