At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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