but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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