Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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