She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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