Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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