Non-Jews are for practice
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
