do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
