ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
