it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
