plz talk dirty to me
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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