I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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