You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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