She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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