I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
