Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
