Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
