Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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