I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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