yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
