i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
tell me about the fingering
Randomize