i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
