I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
