At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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