Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
