I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
