dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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