the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
