I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
