sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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